All, dating, relationships, sex

Helping Men Get Laid – Part 1

how to get laid

This writing is for all you men who don’t have a clue when it comes to pulling women, and that is most probably the majority of you. When it comes to pulling if you have ever went to your mates and said something like ‘she’s a snob’ or ‘she’s up her own arse’, then you need to read this. No she is not a snob or up her own arse, you just probably look like a scruff or have approached her like a creep.

So let me tell you exactly what a scruff is. You can come in many different shapes and forms, but i will tell you some of the most obvious signs that a woman can see when just looking at you once. I don’t care what anyone says but appearance is everything, its what we judge everyone on before we get to know them. So if you ain’t making the best of what you got then you are doomed.

Let’s start with your shape, Do you have a beer belly? This is the number one tell tale sign of a scruff. You obviously don’t have any respect for your body, you don’t go to the gym and you spend your time drinking beer and eating takeaways. Not attractive, even if you have a face like brad pitt the belly is canceling that shit out. No girl wants to date santa claus, get your ass to the gym and stop eating crap. Or maybe you look like you have an eating disorder, and are you more skinny than the girl you are trying to chat up? We don’t want to date our little sister either we want a man to be a man. Bulk up. It ain’t that hard to go pump weights, eat more food and drink protein shakes. Trust me you will feel and look better for it.

When it comes to male grooming there is either too groomed or not groomed at all. Not groomed at all being the second tell tale sign of a scruff. Too groomed being the first telltale sign of a queer but that’s for a different discussion. You need to get the happy medium. We don’t want men to look like barbie and have better eyebrows and hair than ourselves, but we also don’t want to date a overgrown gorilla. Am not asking you to pluck your eyebrows, but please trim them so we can actually see your eyes. When was the last time you had your haircut, has it been more than 4 weeks? If yes well then it’s time to go to the barber and sort that mess out. Beards are fine but they got to be neat and tidy. Anything past your chin and your gonna look like either jesus or a bomber, both not a good look. Also if you have a beard you got to make sure to wash that thing at least twice a day with actual soap or scrub. We don’t want to see or smell anything that you had to eat or drink. If you don’t know what to do with your pubic hair, trim it down. Bushes are for the jungle.

Have you looked at your teeth lately? Now am not saying they have to be perfect (but it’s great if they are) however they need to be white. Yellow and brown teeth are a no no. They represent smoke, uncleanliness and again a total lack of respect. Proper scruff. Get your teeth whitened your smile is one if the first things a woman will notice when you are chatting her up. When was the last time you had a shower? If it wasn’t today then you are in fact a scruff. Body odor is not sexy, you need to be washing yourself at least once per day.

Now have a look at what you are wearing, do you look homeless? Are your jeans, shirt or shoes as old as the lady you are trying to chat up? Is your shoes dirty? Do your clothes smell like food or beer? Have you had the same jeans on all week? Theses are more telltale signs of a scruff. Maybe you don’t look  homeless at all, but you look like you have been dressed by your grandpa. Wearing something like an oversized stupid looking shirt with some rotten loafers. Again not a good look. Are you dressed like a girl? Does your jeans fit you like a pair of leggings and stop right above your ankles? This is just wrong, men should not wear jeggings. Unless of course you want to be a woman then that’s fine. Go shopping guys and buy yourselves some cool gear. If you don’t know what cool looks like google it and have a look at what all the hot celebs are wearing. If you get your look spot on you won’t even need to approach the ladies they should just come to you.

Finally DO NOT be a creep. Men it is not acceptable to grab a woman’s ass or touch her anywhere for that matter without her consent. Nor is it acceptable to make a comment about her tits or ass. If you want to talk to a woman talk to face not her breasts and do not say anything sexual because we don’t want to hear it. Not when we just meet anyhow.  

Now men go and sort yourselves out and tell me your experiences in the comment box below.